i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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