im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
