Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
