i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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