why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
