When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize