so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Liz is crying about burritos again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
