you have to choose: penises or morals?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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