So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
