I don't usually arrange sex via text message
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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