I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
