is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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