so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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