She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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