these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
