So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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