He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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