you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
