I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
you never un-have a 4some
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
