New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
