office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
