k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
