he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize