Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize