i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
