Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
