i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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