what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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