I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
