Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
