how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
