Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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