Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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