Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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