she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
