I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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