OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
