the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Are we still banned from the library?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
