Who did Billy Mays play for?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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