I just made out with a guy for $7.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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