I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I touched a dick in church today
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize