I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
