I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
