do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
