you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
