I wish I could teleport
Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize