my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
a search helicopter?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize