Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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