apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize