Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
