If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
