Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
