I smell stomach acid.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
