My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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