some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
