I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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