This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The power of my boobs compel you
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
