All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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