the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
