3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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