North Korea, Best Korea!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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