He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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