I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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