I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
